This picture of my classroom door says so much. I’ve tried to get in the habit of hanging seasonal wreaths to be festive throughout the school year. For Valentine’s, this is my sad attempt at a wreath. I love the wreath, but it will not hang straight regardless what I try. As soon as the door opens or shuts or a breeze blows by, it shifts yet again. Last week, I decided to quit trying to keep that wreath straight, and accept the fact it is going to be crooked. I came to terms with the fact the world will not end as a result of a crooked heart wreath hanging on my door.
Surprisingly, this crooked wreath is pretty much a metaphor for my life. I want to be the perfect mother, the perfect wife, the perfect teacher, the perfect Christian, and the perfect woman. Regardless what I try, I tend to be just a little bit crooked from everyone else. I’ll hang straight for a while, but as soon as the atmosphere changes, I fall crooked again. I realized being crooked isn’t the problem, but being willing to accept and grow in my “crookedness” is what causes the mental anguish. I have to learn to embrace myself in my crookedness because I can’t be perfect and crooked at the same time. I have two choices: continue to strive to be perfect in my own strength and stress myself out in the process OR embrace my crookedness and let God perfect me. I have no other choice but to choose the latter because I will go crazy otherwise. If you walk down my hall at school, there are a couple of straight perfect hearts hanging on doors. They’re really nice, but the crooked one ain’t so bad!