I Don’t Love My Children :(

I don’t love my children, or at least I didn’t, maybe, sort of, kind of.  Let me explain.  Having two children, two years apart, with two different personalities has made for an interesting family dynamic.  My days consist of a lot of fussing, breaking up disagreements, saying things more than once, and sometimes even questioning my parenting capabilities.  Despite all that, like most moms, I want the very best for my children.  I truly do.  Which is why I was so glad God knocked me over the head last week with a realization.  Do I really love my girls?  Crazy question right?  The love scriptures from the Bible immediately came to mind.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proudor rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wrongedIt does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.  Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever!

I bolded the ones I’ve been struggling with in relation to my children.  I’ve certainly struggled with being patient and kind towards them.  I’m definitely irritable and easily remind them of their past errors.  I’m tempted weekly to quit and give up (naturally I wouldn’t, but I’m still disappointed when the thought crosses my mind).  My goal is to endure through every parenting circumstance present and future so my children will grow up knowing my love will last forever.

As a Christian, rule number one of course you hear right out the gate is to love your neighbor as yourself.  A lot of Christians including myself spend time exercising our love walk on co-workers and church members forgetting about our own little ones that are depending on us.  I realized maybe I wasn’t loving my children the way God has called me to, and I have a lot to work on.

Our children spend about eight hours a day at school with other people like myself imparting into them in various ways.  They really need us to show them true love and an example of what real love looks like.

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3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Yolana
    Sep 18, 2012 @ 20:51:17

    You are a inspiration for so many moms. I enjoy reading your post especially for a mom to be.

    Reply

  2. DeLonda
    Sep 18, 2012 @ 22:24:04

    This is oh so good Crystal! Thanks for being so real and transparent. Women need this 🙂

    Reply

  3. Jessica
    Sep 25, 2012 @ 19:13:00

    All I can say is ditto! Thank you for sharing…I’m glad to know that I’m not the only one struggling in this department!

    Reply

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